Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My Acappellamas Wish List

Dear Santa,
Hi. My name is Marc. Technically, I shouldn’t even be writing to you, because I’m Jewish. However, since I have found no evidence of anyone writing a letter to “Hanukkah Harry,” I have instead decided to address my wish list to you.
As you probably know, I’m really into this new kind of music. It’s called “A cappella.” Unfortunately, most people still believe this is some sort of Italian side dish, best served over pasta.
I would love it ever so much if you could bring me all the things on my wish list. I know that each of these items is technically not a “thing” but more of an “idea.” That’s okay. If you could just remind people to bring these ideas to life, I would really appreciate it.
These ideas I have are not just some sort of gobbledygook nonsense that I randomly invented. These ideas have been around for thousands…ummm…hundreds…wait…dozens of years. But they could evolve, with your help and a little bit of “santa magic.” (which...contrary to popular not a new form of drug.)
So please, help a small, bright-eyed, thirty-year-old youngster get his holiday wish.
To aid your quest, I have written everything down in a numbered list.
10) Live Looping
Please Santa, make live loopers more famous than they are now. They are very talented, and nobody really understands this yet. Also, please make me a better live looper than I am, because right now I suck.
9) A Universal Directory
Santa, please ask all the popular a cappella businesses and recording studios to come up with a universal directory that will make them more noticeable to groups outside of the contemporary a cappella crowd. Also, build me my own recording studio, so I can play in it all day long.
8) A cappella Festivals
Santa, it would be super-neato of you to help us create more a cappella festivals. I really miss seeing my a cappella friends in other states. Also, please give me ten thousand dollars so I can start a festival in Long Island.
7) A New Form of A cappella
Santa, please-oh-please inspire a cappella groups to write original songs, because I am really tired of hearing Adele covers. Also, please ask Ke$ha to go away.
6) Mainstream Success
Santa, it would be swell if you gave the professional a cappella groups more mainstream success. Their success helps spread a cappella music to all corners of the globe. Also, please make me the president of NBC, so I can renew the Sing-Off.
5) More Books
Santa, I love what you’ve done to my bookshelf. There are so many new a cappella books that I can barely keep up with reading them all. But I’m a hoarder, so I need more. Please make more books about a cappella. Also, please invent a new type of book that you can read and will sing to you.
4) A cappella Specific Microphones
Santa, I BEG you to invent a new type of microphone, one that automatically adjusts its volume when a singer pulls it away, for some unknown, and possibly incorrect, reason. Also, please give me a new set of wireless microphones.
3) A cappella Videogames/Apps
Santa, sorry to trouble you again, but would you please inspire someone to invent a videogame, Smartphone app, or computer program whose sole purpose is to enhance our a cappella experience? Also, please give me a new Wii U.
2) A New Understanding of A cappella Music
Santa, this one is tough, but would you please help choral directors understand the educational value of contemporary a cappella music? Or at the very least, make them tolerant to any group who does not sing classical choral music? Also, please make me the president of ACDA, so I can force a cappella music down their throats.
1) An a cappella major
Santa, this last one is the biggie. In fact, you can ignore all the others, if you just make this one happen. Okay. Here it goes…
Santa, pretty, pretty, please create a college major that teaches students the educational value of contemporary a cappella music. Let there be a degree which one can earn, with a focus in contemporary a cappella music. Let there be a fully trained faculty equipped to teach a cappella practices. Let the school be heavily populated with new and fresh a cappella faces, who will one day grow up to be the next big a cappella “thing.” Also, please give me a million dollars, so I can build this school myself.
Thank you and Musical Acappellamas.

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