A cappella Burgers
One of my favorite cartoons on television is Bob’s Burgers.
If you haven’t watched it, I suggest you do.
HOWEVER...
If you have never seen the show before, this is how I
recommend viewing the episodes:
1) Watch
the pilot
2) Watch
season 1 but skip “Crawl Space,” “Bed and Breakfast,” “Spaghetti Western and
Meatballs,” “Weekend at Mort’s,” “Lobsterfest,” and “Torpedo.”
3) Go
right to season 2 and enjoy.
I used this equation to effectively hook my wife (who is
very picky about what she watches) onto Bob’s Burgers.
Why did I skip those particular episodes? It’s not because
they are bad. There’s not a single episode of Bob’s Burgers I would say is “bad.”
They are just not as strong as a lot of the other episodes, and to effectively
convince someone to watch the entirety of a show, you need to give them a
string of great episodes in a row.
I find that when I listen to a new a cappella CD, I’m hoping
for a string of tracks that convince me the rest of the album is worth it. And
often, I’m disappointed. This really comes down to the order of tracks. And
just like the guide to Bob’s Burgers, I wish someone would give me a specific
listening order so I instantly become intrigued by the remainder of the album.
I find with my short attention span I tend
to make snap judgments about what I’m hearing. I can like or not like something
very quickly. I know I’m wrong. But I also know I’m definitely not alone.
I learned over the course of my studies that a cappella
experts place a cappella albums into two categories: Concept albums and Yearbook albums. The concept album leads the listeners through a journey with either a plot
or a moral. The yearbook
album is a collection of songs you’ve been working over the past [insert amount
of time here] with no discernible link between them.
Anytime I review/listen to a yearbook album, I always have
the same complaint: The tracks are in a bad order. And just like my Bob’s
Burgers preferred watching order, I’m always left disappointed that groups did
not take into account the same formula: Hook the listener quickly, THEN break
out the other stuff.
Concept albums should stay in the order they are written in.
No one can really deny that. But yearbook albums need a re-organization.
I believe tracks 1 and 2 (and maybe even 3) should wow me
immediately. Put your best stuff first, because listeners tend to go in track
order when listening to a whole album. Once I’m impressed, then I’m more willing
to listen to the risky stuff or willing to sit through the mediocre tracks.
This is just my opinion, but the second-to-last track needs
to be where you bury your worst song. Either I’ll skip to the last track to
hear what kind of explosive ending you’ve crafted, or I’ll leave the album
running to the end and not even realize what track number I’m listening to.
I’m not an expert sound engineer. I’m not a producer of a
cappella albums. I’m just a listener who hungrily grabs every album he can get
his chubby little hands on. But speaking as an a cappella mega fan, if you want
me to appreciate your yearbook album, I need to know you’re thinking about how
to convince me as quickly as possible.
The next time you design your track list, pretend the
listener is my wife. She's really picky about what television I watch, she makes snap judgments, and the only way to get her to stay is to give her your best
stuff first.
Marc Silverberg
Follow the Quest for the A cappella Major:
BONUS SECTION!!!
Speaking of Bob’s Burgers…here are my 10 favorite episodes
(in case you were wondering)
10) Hamburger Dinner Theatre
Linda, obsessed with dinner theatre, stages her own murder
mystery in the restaurant. This was also the first episode to include music
(which is now a staple in every episode) and establish that Gene is the “composer”
of the family. The best feature is the naiveté of Linda, who believes her “twist”
ending is brilliant, and the argument that ensues.
9) Glued: Where’s My Bob?
The 100th episode rightly keeps the family, and
every character whose ever appeared on the show, firmly in the restaurant.
Suffering from a prank gone wrong, Bob becomes glued to the bathroom toilet
right before a big magazine interview. In true Bob’s Burgers fashion, the
ending is both good and bad for the restaurant’s reputation.
8) Bob Actually
Easily the best Valentine’s Day episode, this collection of
separate stories ends in the most satisfying way possible. Also, nothing makes
me laugh harder than the hip-hop class Bob takes in order to impress Linda.
7) Purple Rain-union
This episode has some of the best musical material from the
show, and also a strong story for Linda and her sister Gayle. Haunted by the
events of her high school talent show, Linda’s band is asked to play at their
high school reunion. Their first song, written by Gayle, has probably the best
rhyming couplet of all time.
6) The Deepening
Bob’s Burgers likes to parody other movies and television
shows, and they range from good (O.T. The Outside Toilet) to mediocre (Aliens/Freaky
Friday). This Jaws parody however, is pitch perfect. Who’d ever think a
mechanical shark would be a threat to people on land? Best line: “I’m literally
grasping at straws.”
5) Dr. Yap
Ken Jeong plays the family dentist, Dr. Yap, who invites the
family to spend the weekend at his cabin for a ski weekend. Oh, and Bob has to
pretend to date Gayle, Linda’s sister. Oh, and the kids have an outstanding
competition for a jawbreaker.
4) Broadcast Wagstaff School News
This episode features the best appearance by Jenny Slate,
who plays Tina’s rival, Tammy. Tina investigates the mysterious “Mad Pooper,”
whose been leaving poops all over school. This episode also helps establish a
staple in the series: that every teacher in this school is a horrible person.
3) The Equestranauts
A fantastic parody of the “Bronies” culture, Tina gets
swindled by an evil fan and Bob must participate in the convention to get her
toy pony back. I love this episode for two reasons: The mispronunciation of the
word “tattoo,” and the extremely quotable “Non canonical! Non canonical! Non
canonical!”
2) Work Hard or Die Tryin’ Girl
Gene stages Die Hard the Musical. His ex-girlfriend,
Courtney, stages Working Girl the Music at the same time. Then they combine
musicals and create the original work: Work hard or Die Tryin’ Girl.” ‘Nuff
said.
1) Topsy
This episode has SO many things going for it: A duet between
Kevin Kline and Megan Mullaly, a villain for Louise to destroy, the first
appearance of Billy Eichner, a definitive argument that Thomas Edison was a
terrible person, Spi-ceps, and the absolute best song in the history of the
series. If you never watch another episode, at least see this one.
