Momma, look at me! I'm a star!

This post is about self-promotion.

I hate self-promotion.

When I see people promote themselves on social media, I go throw up in a wastebasket. And if there’s no wastebasket around, I’ll find one, bring it downstairs to my desk, make sure it’s in exactly the right place…empty it out if anything smelly is in there…maybe take a nap…and then I’ll throw up in it.

 I have never been comfortable bragging about myself. 

 I mean, I suck. What is there to brag about? 

 “Hey everyone! I didn’t let my restless leg syndrome keep me up until 3 in the morning! Yay!”

 See what I did there? Now you know I have restless leg syndrome. And that I’m usually awake at 3 in the morning.

 That’s the only kind of self-promotion I’m comfortable with: Self-deprecating, minimizing the accomplishments, and informing the reader through sneaky, underhanded methods.

 But if I don’t promote myself, how will you know what I’m working on? And how do I tow that fine line between helpful promotion and annoying infomercial? And where the hell am I going with all of this?

 My fears stem from the following:

- I am 99% sure no one cares what I’m working on.

- I am 99% sure that there’s people just like me who will throw up in a wastebasket every time they see a self-promotion.

- I am 99% sure that people will think I’m either egotistical or desperate.

Now, let’s take my friend…ummm…I need an alias so he doesn’t know I’m talking about him…C Arthur. No, that’s too obvious. Charlie A. Perfect.

 Charlie A has had enormous success in the a cappella market because he is not afraid to self-promote. I dare say, he’s currently living the life I wish I had:

 -He’s often called upon to sub in for multiple professional groups

-He’s currently in a long-distance group

-He’s in high demand as a judge, collaborator, and presenter

 

Now let’s compare his life with mine:

 -I have never been called upon to sub in for multiple groups. In fact, I once got the chance to sing a solo with Backtrack and I sounded like someone had put a kazoo inside a dying bagpipe, shoved that inside a vacuum cleaner, and then asked the vacuum to belt “Defying Gravity.”

-I am not in a long-distance group. I tried starting one once. It failed for multiple reasons.

-I am not in high demand as anything. Sure, I MC a bunch of shows, but I’m pretty sure the directors are letting me do it out of pity. 

 Let us also pause and take into account how ridiculously talented Charlie A is. He’s not getting these opportunities out of luck, he’s earning them.

 Sorry. This was not supposed to be a pity party. I don’t want your pity. I want to be confident and strong enough to self-promote without feeling like I’m annoying you.

 So, to all of you who feel the way I do…

To everyone who doubts their talent and wishes they could have more opportunities…

To the masses who worry about cluttering up the A cappella NOW Facebook group…

 I say this: Suck it up and self-promote.

 It’s like the lottery. Sure, there’s no way in hell you’re going to win, but you can’t have a shot if you don’t buy the ticket.

 In the spirit of “sucking it up,” I’m going to self-promote.

 

Hello friends! Did you know Marc is available for sub-in singing work? It’s true!

 

-He learns music really, really fast.

-He’s the world greatest sight reader. (I can sight-read ANYTHING)

-He has NO desire to steal anyone’s solo- you can TOTALLY give away all of his supposed solos and he will be perfectly happy with that!

-He will spend every waking minute of his life obsessing about your set and getting it right because he wants to please you so very, very badly! (This could be a good thing or a bad thing…your choice)

-He has spent his life perfecting the art of “not sticking out.”

-He has lots of experience singing incredibly difficult harmonies! (I sang the baritone part of the Real Group’s arrangement of “It Don’t Mean A Thing.” BY. MY. SELF.)

-He’s super good with technology!

 

[Author’s note: I’m going to write a whole blog about my singing voice…just you wait…]

 Now see…I just re-read this last part and I feel stupid. I feel like you’re judging me because it looks like I’m desperate, when in fact I’m just curious.

 

THIS is the problem with self-promotion. 

 Now I’m going to go throw up in a wastebasket.

 

Marc Silverberg

Marcesilverberg.com

Instagram.com/docacappella